Emotions & mindset
What coping tools did you lean on?
How did you cope with fear and uncertainty?
The fear that surprised me most wasn't on my sickest days. On those days, I was so focused on getting through that my anxiety stayed quiet. It was when my body started feeling better and the next treatment got closer that the dread set in. I'd gag just thinking about chewing peppermints to cover the taste of the anti-nausea medicine, or chewing ice while the "red devil" went in.
I know how I react to things, so before chemo even started, I tried to come up with a way to give that time a purpose. That's how the Chemo Coffee Talk Podcast was born. I recorded it right from my chemo chair, and at each treatment I interviewed a different "chemo buddy," someone special in my life who sat with me while I got my infusion. Even my chemo nurse was a guest.
It gave my mind somewhere to go when the dread crept in. Instead of thinking about the ice and the peppermints, I'd think about who I was interviewing next and the time I'd get to spend with them. My brain would calm down. I honestly think it was the best idea I've ever had.
What I learned is that you can't always change the hard thing, but you can change what it means to you. Think outside the box. Make your mess your masterpiece.