Arun M.

How was the cancer found?

My primary care doctor misdiagnosed me, even though I had many of the symptoms: weight loss, night sweats, swollen lymph nodes. After several rounds of antibiotics and steroids, I decided to get a second opinion. An ENT did a biopsy, and I was diagnosed.

What went through your mind when you were told?

I had been sick for months by the time anyone told me what it was. So the news was mostly clarity. The only thing on my mind was how soon I could start treatment.

What do you wish you had known in your first week?

That the waiting wasn't over yet. I'd spent months trying to get an answer, so once I had one I wanted to start treatment right away, and I couldn't. There were more appointments first and I found that part really frustrating.

It makes more sense to me now. Before the diagnosis I had to push to get answers. After, there was nothing to push against, just a plan I had to wait on. Totally different things. I wish I'd used that week to get my head ready instead of counting days.

How did you tell your employer or coworkers?

I told my boss immediately. I was going to need a lot of appointments and possibly time off, so there was no point in waiting.

How did you tell your family and closest friends?

I only had those conversations with a few people myself. Telling people is tiring and repetitive, and everyone has a million questions. Ask someone else to make some of those calls for you. Your priority is you.

What was your treatment like, day to day?

I got into a routine. The same smoothie and bagel every morning, and I never skipped breakfast. Labs, then treatment. Afterwards I rested. In the evening I tried to celebrate the day being done, even if that only meant ordering my favorite takeout. Celebration is key.

What helped you get through treatment sessions?

Each item reacts on its own. Counts add up across everyone who listed it.

How did you go about getting a second opinion?

Every medication I was given worked for a little while, then the symptoms came back. That's what kept me unsure for so long. One doctor thought it was a virus, which explained why it was dragging on, so there was always a reason to wait a bit longer.

What changed was that I got fed up. Nothing was working, the answers had stopped making sense, and my gut told me something bigger was going on. So I asked to be referred to a specialist.

If you're in that loop, ask your PCP for the referral. You don't have to be certain to ask.

What was the hardest part of treatment?

The hardest part was mental, not physical. My diagnosis came at what felt like a pivotal point in my career and life and I was going to have to put a lot of it on hold. It felt unfair, and I felt that resentment for a while.

It shifted somewhere in the middle of treatment. I started seeing it as the one time in my life where I had an excuse to take it easy and just focus on myself. That sounds small but it changed everything. Once I stopped being angry about what I was losing, I got a huge amount of energy back, and I got clear on what I actually wanted for the first time in a while.

So when I finished recovering I wrote out some real goals and just got to work. I don't think I'd have had anywhere near that much motivation without it.

Which side effects did you have?

How did you manage nausea?

How did you handle the cost of treatment?

Many hospitals have social workers who can help you with billing. Ask to be connected. Mine told me about grants I had no idea existed and helped me apply for them, which covered a lot of my costs. Blood Cancer United was the main one I used.

How did you handle work during treatment?

My boss had a family member affected by cancer, and his advice was not to jump straight to medical leave. He stayed flexible around my treatments and let me work as much as I could manage. In his experience work was a good distraction, and I agreed. Looking back, it is the advice I am most grateful for.