Candice H.

How was the cancer found?

I was 39 years old when I felt a very distinct lump in my left breast while taking a shower on an otherwise completely normal day.

My mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer at 50 and I had previously asked my primary care provider if I should be getting screened. I was told it wasn’t necessary yet. Thank goodness I found it myself.

When I went in for imaging, I showed them exactly where I had felt the lump. I remember the radiologist telling me that even with all her years of experience, she might not have caught it because of how dense my breast tissue was.

I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to know your own body and regularly check your breasts.

As unfortunate as we are to face breast cancer, there is one thing we can be grateful for: our breasts are an area of the body we can actually feel and examine. Think about how many people develop cancer deep within their bodies, with no way of knowing something is wrong until symptoms appear.

We have the opportunity to notice changes ourselves, and I think that’s incredibly powerful.

So when you’re in the shower, take an extra minute. Soap up, feel around, and become familiar with what is normal for you. My lump was as clear as day, and I will never forget that moment.

Please encourage the women in your life to do the same. Self-exams don’t replace mammograms or other recommended screenings, but knowing your body matters.

I truly believe finding that lump myself saved my life.

What do you wish you had known about fertility before treatment started?

I was 39 years old when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I already had a child and wasn’t planning on having any more, so fertility preservation wasn’t a concern for me. However, what I wish someone had told me was that chemotherapy could put me into premature menopause. I had absolutely no idea.

Chemotherapy completely shut down my ovaries, and I experienced horrible hot flashes and menopausal symptoms almost immediately. I’m now 43 and still in menopause.

What made it especially difficult was how abruptly it happened. Rather than gradually transitioning into menopause over several years, my body was essentially thrown into it overnight. There was no time to prepare, physically or emotionally.

I absolutely would have made the same decision to undergo chemotherapy. I don’t regret my treatment. But I do wish my doctors had taken the time to explain that, at just 39 years old, I could experience sudden menopause and potentially never regain ovarian function.

How do you deal with fear of recurrence?

I struggle with this every single day. I don’t want to pretend otherwise.

Every new symptom, every ache, every unexplained pain makes me wonder, What if it’s back?

I’m a single mom to a six-year-old daughter, and more than anything in this world, I just want to be here to watch her grow up.

But despite everything I’ve been through, and despite the fear of recurrence that will probably always be somewhere in the back of my mind, here’s what I’ve learned.

I am better because of what I went through. I am stronger because of it.

And I’ve learned that while I can’t control everything, I can control how I choose to live with non toxic living the best that I can.

Not because I believe doing all of this guarantees cancer won’t return, but because it’s the best thing I can do for my body, my mind, and my overall well-being.

I think those of us who have walked through cancer understand life in a way we never did before. As horrible as the experience was, it changed us. It made us stronger, more resilient, and more appreciative of the little things we once took for granted.

The fear is still there. But so is the gratitude.

What would you tell a caregiver?